Hot Tubbin'

It's finally picked out, delivered, hooked up and HOT.....

And even if I am not (so hot that is) I insist on tubbing neked, which must be so mortifying for the neighbors. But I'm of the mind, if you don't like what you see, don't look! However, Chris is not of this mind. Actually, he's fine with it, after dark, but in the light of day he thinks the girls should stay covered. So when I headed out yesterday afternoon, in the broad daylight in my robe (and nothing else) to enjoy our new sanctuary, I got in a bit of trouble.

But on the other hand, it means I got the additional trellis in place a bit sooner that I thought!

Halloween

This is perhaps the end of an era. Probably the last year I will be able to talk the kidlets into having some sort of combo costume. (And hopefully the last that I am up for hours and hours hunched over a sewing machine trying to pull it off without REALLY knowing how to sew!) Let's take a moment to pause while I wipe the tears from my eye. Its been a good run. But alas, sad, but true, they are growing up and no longer easily manipulated convinced to do what Mom wants.

So I am taking a walk down memory lane, back to when they were young and cute and had no idea how embarrassing it would be that someday I would be posting these pictures of them on the internet oh so innocent and trusting.

There was the first Halloween I had two. Yeah, DQ had a few cute Halloweens before the arrival of DP Joe. But nothing is more fun than couple costumes!!! I was so EXCITED to have two! But apparently I wasn't quite over the fact that I had a son, not another daughter. D begged me not to emasculate his new son in this way, but I thought it was adorable....



Oh it's gets better! The next year it was even more brilliant! Being 7, DQ wanted to be something much more regal (and worthy of her Queen status). No prob says Mom! I modify someone's old prom dress (Thank you Value Village!) to make her the cutest princess - complete with the garniture and pointy tall hat. Notice how utterly happy she is! DP Joe gets to be the frog with the red lips on his cheek where he's been kissed! tee hee. Notice he looks less thrilled than last year. Yeah, quick learner. He knows now, last year wasn't a fluke, this shit's gonna continue.



Now, year three was by far my personal favorite. I actually sewed both costumes with the MIL's help AND it just so happens that this combo was near and dear to my heart because once upon a LONG time ago, my brother and I were this combo. Raggedy Ann and Andy with Cody being Teddy E. Bear. Come on, let me here you say it, ahhhhh...This picture (of course) does not do justice to DQ's costume with red rick rack and full pantaloons. Other than the fact that most of her friends had NO IDEA what she was, she liked the attention from all of the adults who TOTALLY knew who she was and appropriately ohh'd and ahhh'd. I'm sure I will hear from DP Joe some day, "Mom... A doll? WTF?" Again, deep under that red wig I'm sure he's thinking.... is this mockery ever going to end? Answer: No, probably not. After all, isn't this WHY I had kids?

The Angel vs. the Devil. Ah, how true it is! The truth is these two really should have been reversed! But again, trying not to scar the poor boy for life. Notice the increase in his excitement? He's practically going to burst if he has to be still for one more picture. Yippy, maybe I finally scored with this one! Oh yeah, forgot, it wasn't the costume that had him excited, he was at MIL's and totally hopped up on sugar from all the Halloween candy. Surprised this picture even turned out and he wasn't just a blur in my lens! What you can't see is the awesome red tights with flames he's wearing under his cape! Yeah the debauchery!

But fear not DP Joe, your year is finally here! No longer can Mom assume since you are little you will not understand how sissy her costume picks have been for you. You are now old enough to say, "Not so much." Well the truth is, you learned NO a long time ago, but this year, lucky for you, you perfected the oh so cute and adorable doe eyes look combined with the sweet, sappy, "Please, mom, wouldn't this be so cool?" plea. Yeah that one STILL gets me. Again, quick learner! How could I say no!

And this was the costume of all costumes for him. Complete with the dragon tattoo on the chest. Still the one he remembers the most, the one he goes back to every year and wants to be again. But aside from the fact that EVERYONE is on the pirate bandwagon (or should I say ship.. argg!) these days, I was a little concerned about how he kept veering off to the right, into the street while we were trick-or-treating. Apparently, although the eye patch looks cool, it affects his equilibrium. YEAH! Turns out the patches in the medical supply section of Wally World aren't the best costume accessory for a child who uses BOTH eyes to see! (Don't tell the folks judging the 'Mother of the Year contest!) DQ was his pirate bride. Wasn't too creative in figuring out how to make that obvious. It didn't hurt that just a few weeks prior she was the flower girl in The Gnome's wedding.

So, I had to come up with something cool enough to convince DP Joe to let go of his pirate obsession. (NO REPEATS!) Not easy feat, trust me! Years later he is STILL dressing up in full pirate garb on occasion! This glow in the dark skeleton barely cut it. DQ is wearing a lovely woman's dress shirt which I fixed up with some gauze to be ghoulish. The wig filled with plastic bugs was the capstone and her fav!

But the home made costumes are not quite as cool as the store bought super hero variety...... I knew this day would come.....Finally we move away from Mom's homemade creations to the more main stream cool choices with (GASP!) masks. What you can't see is DP Joe's fake chest muscles and DQ's mini skirt and boots... MEOW! Yeah a little frightening when you darling little girl goes from baggy sweats to knee high boots and a black leather mini skirt... HOLY Kitty Cat Batman!

So that brings us to this year... when amazingly enough I have once again managed to pull this off. The sewing machine was still going Halloween morning as I apparently have yet to understand that I lost the Mother of the Year contest a long time ago fervently finished DQ's costume (yes, I drug my sewing machine to work!) And in the end, as it always manages to do, it came together without a hitch.

Little DQ Riding Hood and the Big Bad Joe!

Multnomah Falls

We took a trip north this weekend. Mostly to take a break from home improvement. But also just to have some alone time together. We decided to go north because we wanted to shop at IKEA see something new: Multnomah Falls.

Most of the time when we travel we camp, so this whole hotel thing is a bit luxurious. In fact, this time, we decided to splurge and reserved the only suite available presidential suite. When we checked in Chris started referring to himself in third person and immediately decided that he should now be referred to as El Conquistador.... ALL WEEKEND long.

We had a generally relaxing weekend of shopping (IKEA, Portland Saturday Market) and sight seeing:
Oh, I mean these sights.....

A'hoy There Mateys

Dread Pirate Joe is (still) into pirates, but not as much as he was.... I rarely find him dressed in full pirate garb which includes: the eye patch (that on occasion made him walk funny), the frilly white silk shirt (smallest shirt in women's from Goodwill), the knee high women's boots with a heel (the MIL bought for him to REALLY feel like a pirate) and of course the ridiculously expensive tri-corn hat (he had to have from the Pirate Festival)! Because whilst looking for material to build ye boat ye should look the part of a swash-buckling mate come to plunder! Ah good times, good times! Its been awhile (a few months maybe?) since he was obsessed with building the perfect pirate ship dressed to the nines. But come to think of it, he didn't travel too far off the path with his latest obsession: The Titanic.

Anyway, I can digress..... so in honor of "Talk Like Pirate Day" I, being the good Mom that I am (still holding out for the Mother of the Year Award), scoured the web for some sort of Pirate Food to make for dinner. Because, well, I am always all about a theme. So here's what I came up with:

Captain Morgan's Treasure

2	garlic cloves, chopped
2	inches piece fresh ginger, peeled and chopped
1	medium shallot, chopped
1/4	cup oil
1/4	cupbutter
6	boneless skinless chicken breasts
	salt and pepper
1	mango, peeled and chopped
1	papaya, peeled and chopped
1	jamaican hot pepper, chopped (remove seeds unless you like it really spicy)
1/2	cup Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum
2	cups chicken broth
1/2-3/4	cup heavy cream

1. Heat butter and oil in dutch oven, add garlic, ginger and shallot, saute until shallot is soft, 2-3 minutes.
2. Season chicken with salt and pepper, add to pan and brown, turning frequently.
3. Add rum, chicken broth, mango, papaya and pepper, bring to boil, cover and reduce heat, simmer for 20 minutes.
4. Remove cover and simmer until sauce is reduced ( I let it go to half) and add cream, heat through but don't boil.
5. Serve over steamed rice.

**UPDATE**
So it was a hit. No one got scurvy from eating it, anyway! In fact the whole crew scarfed it down like it was the first hot meal after a month at sea! Arrr! (Yeah, ok corny, I know.)

I couldn't find the Jamaican pepper, and since the kidlets don't enjoy Chris and I's penchant for spicy foods, I left it off. I had to buy way more rum than I needed (they don't just sell half a cup of anything in that store), because (gasp!) it is the one type of alcohol not included in the so far unopened stash of booze in the liquor cabinet.

Dread Pirate Joe overheard me telling Chris the recipe that I had picked for this occasion, and said, "You are putting rum in my food?"

Me, "Yeah, it what all pirates love...."

Him, "Do you have to put rum in my food?"

Me, "Joe, it's ok the alcohol cooks off and just leaves the rum flavor."

Him, "Oh.... so why do you have to put it in there then?"

Me, "Yeah good point, lets just drink it with dinner then!!!"

Just kidding! If you know me, you know that Rum and I don't get along (hence why it wasn't in the liquor cabinet to begin with). But a shot in Joe's Grog (eh, rootbeer) might be fun to watch and help him fall asleep sooner since I had so much left.....

Who me? NEVER!!! That wouldn't get me any points in the Mother of the Year contest, now would it! ;)

Gremlins

"It's the most beautiful time of year!" Yep School's back! Look at these monkeys..... wait, not monkeys, more like gremlins. The sweet smiles are very deceiving.

The Egyptian's trainer hit the nail on the head. In a moment of self loathing about her body, he reminds her "It's ok, don't be so hard on yourself. You spit those 4 kids out like gremlins." tee hee. We got a laugh about this, but I had to remind her... " Our kids were Mogwai when we spit them out. Should have followed the care and feeding instructions that came with and they wouldn't have turned into gremlins!"

Chinese Kissing

This weekend Dread Pirate Joe decided to up the "Kissing" Ante. Apparently all the Axe (Bow-chicka-bow-wow) he's been wearing has him thinking this baby "peck" kissing is no longer good enough for him. He climbed into my lap and proceeded to give me the longest kiss. Ever. And by this I mean, he grabbed my face with his little hands tilted his head slightly, closed his eyes and leaned in slowly until our lips met and even moved his head back and forth (for effect). He pulled away with a big smile and proceeded to try to "rinse and repeat". At this point, I stop him, "Hey what's up?" I ask. He giggles. And I begin to wonder where he learned this new move..... And then I remember the moment, when I was his age, that I too, decided to "Up the Kissing Ante" with my mother.

My mom almost always had soap operas playing on the TV while she busied herself around the house. (I can vividly remember crying during General Hospital when Luke and Laura were reunited after everyone thought she was dead and Christopher Cross's "Think of Laura" played to a montage of Luke and Laura moments. My mom even bought me the 45 I liked that song so much! Can you say sappy?) So what most little girls learned from Fairy Tales, I learned from Soap Operas! I saw a lot of soap opera "action" when I was young (which was mild by today's standards!) and decided this long wet kissing with tongue looked kind of fun. So who better to test this new "French Kiss" on than my mother. So the first chance I got, I laid one one her: Opened wide and inserted tongue. Startled, my Mom grabbed my by the shoulder and pushed me back. Actually, the truth is, Shock and Awe had nothing on my Mom's reaction! I learned right then and there not to try that again. At least not until years later with that boy under the tree with her.

I tried not to be so shocked with Dread Pirate Joe. I explained that this type of kissing wasn't appropriate for someone his age. I laughed at his innocence and told him my "French Kissing" story. He laughed and laughed (and I mean big belly laughing that is so adorable when you are 7!), until his face was red. Apparently, me kissing my mother WITH TONGUE was the funniest thing he has ever heard! When Chris walked into our conversation, DP Joe can't wait to share my story. He says "Did you know my Mom Chinese kissed her Mom when she was little?" Chris smiled and raised his eyebrow. Once I explained, he said "Maybe I can get a little Chinese action over here?"

Deck Buildin'

One of our favorite things to do is to sit on the front porch with a cup of coffee and people watch. Yeah Springtucky has some of the most weird interesting people around. So we like to sit out there and check out the local folks and yell at the people who insist on leaving shopping carts in the yard across the street wave at passer-byers. It has always been the case that our front "stoop" was a less than desirable place for this due to the lack of space. Yeah, basically both our fat arses barely fit side by side on the cement step.


Plus, we've been doing a lot of work outside because, well, tis the season and we have an abundance of slave labor. Now that the pad looks so good, I really want a place to sit and enjoy our little piece of earth.





So I begged, and pleaded and made some kick ass Pesto Pizza, and lo and behold, look what I got:
And that's not all! I also got a BEAUTIFUL Adirondack chair too. Nothing like sitting on the porch with a tall glass of tea, fire going in the chimenea, while the kids toss a ball to each other in the yard, chatting with the neighborhood folks, while the cars lazily drive by. OK, well, some of that is partly true. You decide which parts! I don't want to spoil your mental image.