Merry Christmas to All

To All....













...and to all a blessed 2009!

'Twas the Night Before Christmas....

....and all through the house were these cute creatures who I happen to call my family. I know time is passing faster than I think it should, but for now I am so blessed to have the pitter patter of these feet among me. For they will grow, and they will go, but for today they are still mine.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

DPJ started tackle football this year. He now has full garb.....

.....And a full set of bruises to match!

1st Day of School 2008

Aren't they adorable:Yeah pictures are fine on your front porch. I barely had to threaten them for this shot:But all that changed when we pulled up to the school.

Not that this ritual is anything new, we've only done it every year since kindergarten, but this year I got the full, "MOM!" including (but not limited to) arms crossed in defiance, eyes rolling and huffs galore, when I pulled over and hopped out to take this shot:
You'd think I was dressed in a Hawaiian mu mu with curlers in my hair insisting on a big fat kiss right in front of their classroom! (OK, no mu mu, but surely a kiss for your mama!) Notice the ready to bolt stance DQ has taken. If this shot has not worked too bad the next one would have been her backside running away.....

I'm sure DQ thinks that I lay awake at night dreaming up new ways to completely embarrass her! (no..... but sometimes on the way home in the car my mind does wander..... tee hee)

Gung Hay Fat Choy

"Gung Hay Fat Choy means: Best wishes and Congratulations. Have a prosperous and good year.

Chinese New Year marks the end of winter and the beginning of spring. (Can a hear an AMEN!!!) It is a time for family reunions, for honoring ancestors and for thanking the Gods for their blessings. (of which we have many)

Families make great preparations for this special celebration. Before the New Year, families settle debts and buy new clothes. (Well, the taxes are done, does this count???) The house is cleaned and food is prepared. (Got the food covered the house could pass muster I guess....) Homes are filled with flowers and fruit. (Got a couple of bananas...but flowers....hummm.... could I be so lucky as to get flowers today? Anybody? Anybody? ~silence~ that would be a no.)"

Any way you want to look at it I guess. I see it as another chance to have a new start.... or in our case: just another reason to have a special meal. Yes, surprise, surprise, one of the ways I show just how very much I love you is by feeding you.

And I'm gonna love me some family tonight! Broccoli Beef, Fried Rice, Kung Pow Chicken, Egg Rolls... all eaten with chop sticks and even fortune cookies...... all that will be missing is my red silk kimono. Go ahead, close your eyes and picture it. The mental image is good for a laugh, I promise. You know if I had one, I would be dressed to the nines!!!

Blow, Baby, Blow

My ears only hurt a little

but we could recognize most of the short songs and it was cute none the less!

Look at those cheeks! She is working hard.

A Gift for You

You know how I just LOVE to give home-made gifts for Christmas.....

Just let me know which one you'd like!

Missing!

Finally lost his top loose tooth! The bottom set are still growing in two rows like a shark! The dentist assures us this is fine and will correct itself.

What is too funny is that being the slacker parent that I am, I forgot my tooth fairy duties and a disappointed DPJ woke up to find no Pirate Booty awaiting him. Just his little tooth still where he left it. Try as I might to explain that the tooth fairy was just confused, he wasn't buying it. I told him if he left his tooth that I was sure the Tooth Fairy would find it while he was gone.

So the kids headed out to school with Chris and I immediately went in search of said tooth, figuring I would complete the swap while it was on my mind, but all I could find was a pile of change (a quarter, a few dimes, a nickel and about 10 pennies) where the tooth should have been.
I call the car phone. "Joe, where's your tooth?"
He replies, "Under my bed."
"Joe, I looked, and all I see is money..... did you take the tooth and leave money?"
"No..... Maybe the tooth fairy came!"

I eliminated all of the possible suspects (Chris and DQ). I know my memory is bad, but not that bad!! And it was too early for my meds, so I'm in my right frame of mind. Yep, it was him. That little shit pirate either didn't trust the tooth fairy at MY HOUSE or wanted to take that blasted tooth to school to share with his buddies. So he swapped his tooth with some change, so I would THINK the tooth fairy came. Hilarious how he tried to fake me out!

Little Milestones

DQ has been asking for some time if she can shave her legs. I have protested, mostly because I don't think she understands that once she starts, she has to keep it up. And I guess, I don't see what the big deal is, her leg hair is barely noticeable (unlike the Sasquatch-esk growth I have been working on for winter warmth!). BUT, of all the things she could want (piercings, tattoos, fake nails, hair color....), this is harmless enough. I have been explaining for months the consequences of heading down this path, and she is still determined. So in a private moment shortly after her birthday, I gave her my gift: her letter (which I read to her) and in a small bag some of the shave less hair removing cream. After the initial excitement and 53 million hugs and thank yous (something to really treasure in parenthood!) there was a moment so ala DQ when she says, "Will you do it for me?" Uh no my dear, this is all you.
She managed, and I captured the moment for posterity. Yeah, wonder how she'll feel when she realizes the definition of posterity is THIS BLOG!

Binya Binya

Happy Birthday to you.

Today you are 12. Hard for me to fathom that a dozen years have come and gone. Surely they have slipped right through my fingers like fine sand. Each moment becoming one more in a string of moments speeding by, before I had the inclination to pay attention. I wish..... that I had paid closer attention to these tangible examples of an intangible concept. I wish..... that I could go back, remember each and every moment where you have made me smile and brought joy to my heart. That I could somehow list them and describe each one of them to you. For they are many, and unfortunately, my memory is just not that good. But what comes to mind today is the very first moment you brought this joy: the moment I first held you.

You were the gift I didn't even know I wanted until I had you. Your Dad and I were very young, still trying to figure out what we wanted in this life and not even quite sure who we were. I'll never forget the day we found out that we two would become three. The nurse had that look when she came back into the room, and even though I had tried to convince myself that these symptoms were merely the flu, I just knew right then: it was real. Ready or not you were coming. She talked on and on, about what, I am not sure, because I could no longer hear what she was saying. I was lost in a daze in my own head asking myself: What now? How will I? What if? It isn't exactly what we hope to write down in that special place in the baby book where it asks "How did you first find out about your pregnancy?" So many emotions were swimming around in my head, but mostly: I was afraid.

Of course, I had nine whole months to get used to the idea that I was going to have a baby and be a Mom. I tried to plan, to prepare myself: I read books, took classes, and of course I thought about it all the time. But as with anything one has never done before: it is never quite how you think it is going to be. I labored hard with you. 23 hours in fact. I can remember how much it hurt, and how I wished the contractions would be fewer and shorter, but also knowing it was a necessary pain, and just wanting to get through it because I knew it would culminate in your arrival. I passed the hours, the time between contractions, thinking of what it would be like to finally have you here, to hold you, and talk to you. I visualized what you would look like: How big you would be, your nose, your mouth, your 10 little fingers and 10 little toes. I even worried you would have a head full of thick, dark, curly hair just like your Dad. (Actually, in my mind, it looked more like Elvis) These minor worries kept the nurses amused and my mind off the pain a little bit. When they finally said I could push, I was glad it wouldn't be much longer before I would see you. And every push I prayed that it would be my last, and this would be done. Again and again, bearing down, I believed through sheer force I would bring you into this world. But after laboring for so long, the doctors became concerned because I was not progressing. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to push you out. They gave me my options: I could try a little longer or I could have a C-Section. A choice, as if somehow I was in control of this process. "Whatever we need to do." I said, "Just get her here." Nothing I did was working, because the truth is, I was so not in control. But, I was afraid.

A lot of the complications I read/learned about were now happening. As with lots of hard things in life, no one could take this from me, no one could do this for me. I had no choice. I just kept telling myself, whatever I need to do to have you in my arms, I would do. But I never knew I would have to be this brave. They prepped me and moved me into another room for a cesarean. It went relatively quick because what I didn't fully comprehend was, you were struggling and they were worried. I didn't let myself think about what lay ahead, so when they draped me, I looked away and closed my eyes, hoping this part would go quick. Up until this point I had never had surgery, never been under anesthesia, never been cut into. And I was afraid.

You didn't cry right away when they pulled your little, wrinkled, curled body from me. The longest few minutes were waiting for the doctor to finish suctioning your lungs. The previous 23 hours were a blink of an eye compared to this. And then finally you cried. That sound... I couldn't even comprehend before that moment how my heart would feel hearing your tiny, yet intense noise fill the room. And then I cried. Oh how I longed for you in that moment. When they placed you on my chest - wrapped in a blanket with a small knit cap over your misshapen head (you seriously could have won a part in the Coneheads movie), your arms and legs tightly drawn to your chest, I gently pulled off your hat (whew, no hair) and kissed your forehead. In that moment I was forever changed. My heart was unable to contain this feeling, tears streaming down my face. You were real. You were here. And what I could never have imagined before now was just how beautiful you would be to me. I was yours and you were mine. But how will I ever be everything I need to be for you? Again, I was afraid.

How could I know what this would feel like? How can I tell you now what this felt like then? To all at once be so utterly amazed and terrified. Never before and never again would it feel just like this. Overwhelming and incredible. See, you were the first for everything. I had no idea what to expect. Up until that moment, I didn't understand that what you get in life is rarely what you envision:

actually, it is so much more.

I truly understood the power of an unknown future. You, nestled there on my chest making little baby noises, surely mesmerized by the beating of my heart, which you had grown accustomed to inside of me, were the most amazing thing I could never have planned for. You were so delicate, everything so soft and tiny. My mind could never have dreamed you up, let alone, this perfection. And this feeling in my chest. I was unprepared for this joy. And I'm glad I didn't know what it would be like, because for the first time, in that moment I learned no matter what my hopes and fears were, that I couldn't possibly imagine or plan for all that lay before me on this journey. And I have come to understand that the unknown is so much better than what we foresee.

Through the years of being your mother I have had many more moments like this. Where I realize things that I never understood before. Moments where you have brought me pride and joy through just being your Mother. Because just like I couldn't predict then what it would be like to be a Mother, I certainly couldn't have predicted how you would grow into what you have become. How I am still amazed that the tiny little baby wrapped in that blanket asleep on my chest now stands almost as tall as me. How did it all happen so fast? I wish I could put some memories of you in a bottle and keep them there, forever. Taking them out, on occasion, reliving each of the collected moments again and again. So that when I am afraid, like I am today that soon you will be grown and no longer my little girl, I can remember all that you have given me, all that you have taught me, all the joy that I could never have conceived, just by you being born to me as my first and only daughter.
I love you Binya-Binya. My wish for you is that you come to understand the possibilities of the future and all that lay before you. Don't be too afraid of the things to come. Don't try too hard to have everything planned and figured out. Because even when you believe you are in control, you aren't, so relax and let go a little. Believe that life will be infinitely better than you can even imagine. And I hope that you can enjoy the moments for what they are: gifts you didn't know you wanted until you had them.
Love, Your Mom

A'hoy There Mateys

Dread Pirate Joe is (still) into pirates, but not as much as he was.... I rarely find him dressed in full pirate garb which includes: the eye patch (that on occasion made him walk funny), the frilly white silk shirt (smallest shirt in women's from Goodwill), the knee high women's boots with a heel (the MIL bought for him to REALLY feel like a pirate) and of course the ridiculously expensive tri-corn hat (he had to have from the Pirate Festival)! Because whilst looking for material to build ye boat ye should look the part of a swash-buckling mate come to plunder! Ah good times, good times! Its been awhile (a few months maybe?) since he was obsessed with building the perfect pirate ship dressed to the nines. But come to think of it, he didn't travel too far off the path with his latest obsession: The Titanic.

Anyway, I can digress..... so in honor of "Talk Like Pirate Day" I, being the good Mom that I am (still holding out for the Mother of the Year Award), scoured the web for some sort of Pirate Food to make for dinner. Because, well, I am always all about a theme. So here's what I came up with:

Captain Morgan's Treasure

2	garlic cloves, chopped
2	inches piece fresh ginger, peeled and chopped
1	medium shallot, chopped
1/4	cup oil
1/4	cupbutter
6	boneless skinless chicken breasts
	salt and pepper
1	mango, peeled and chopped
1	papaya, peeled and chopped
1	jamaican hot pepper, chopped (remove seeds unless you like it really spicy)
1/2	cup Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum
2	cups chicken broth
1/2-3/4	cup heavy cream

1. Heat butter and oil in dutch oven, add garlic, ginger and shallot, saute until shallot is soft, 2-3 minutes.
2. Season chicken with salt and pepper, add to pan and brown, turning frequently.
3. Add rum, chicken broth, mango, papaya and pepper, bring to boil, cover and reduce heat, simmer for 20 minutes.
4. Remove cover and simmer until sauce is reduced ( I let it go to half) and add cream, heat through but don't boil.
5. Serve over steamed rice.

**UPDATE**
So it was a hit. No one got scurvy from eating it, anyway! In fact the whole crew scarfed it down like it was the first hot meal after a month at sea! Arrr! (Yeah, ok corny, I know.)

I couldn't find the Jamaican pepper, and since the kidlets don't enjoy Chris and I's penchant for spicy foods, I left it off. I had to buy way more rum than I needed (they don't just sell half a cup of anything in that store), because (gasp!) it is the one type of alcohol not included in the so far unopened stash of booze in the liquor cabinet.

Dread Pirate Joe overheard me telling Chris the recipe that I had picked for this occasion, and said, "You are putting rum in my food?"

Me, "Yeah, it what all pirates love...."

Him, "Do you have to put rum in my food?"

Me, "Joe, it's ok the alcohol cooks off and just leaves the rum flavor."

Him, "Oh.... so why do you have to put it in there then?"

Me, "Yeah good point, lets just drink it with dinner then!!!"

Just kidding! If you know me, you know that Rum and I don't get along (hence why it wasn't in the liquor cabinet to begin with). But a shot in Joe's Grog (eh, rootbeer) might be fun to watch and help him fall asleep sooner since I had so much left.....

Who me? NEVER!!! That wouldn't get me any points in the Mother of the Year contest, now would it! ;)

Gremlins

"It's the most beautiful time of year!" Yep School's back! Look at these monkeys..... wait, not monkeys, more like gremlins. The sweet smiles are very deceiving.

The Egyptian's trainer hit the nail on the head. In a moment of self loathing about her body, he reminds her "It's ok, don't be so hard on yourself. You spit those 4 kids out like gremlins." tee hee. We got a laugh about this, but I had to remind her... " Our kids were Mogwai when we spit them out. Should have followed the care and feeding instructions that came with and they wouldn't have turned into gremlins!"

Chinese Kissing

This weekend Dread Pirate Joe decided to up the "Kissing" Ante. Apparently all the Axe (Bow-chicka-bow-wow) he's been wearing has him thinking this baby "peck" kissing is no longer good enough for him. He climbed into my lap and proceeded to give me the longest kiss. Ever. And by this I mean, he grabbed my face with his little hands tilted his head slightly, closed his eyes and leaned in slowly until our lips met and even moved his head back and forth (for effect). He pulled away with a big smile and proceeded to try to "rinse and repeat". At this point, I stop him, "Hey what's up?" I ask. He giggles. And I begin to wonder where he learned this new move..... And then I remember the moment, when I was his age, that I too, decided to "Up the Kissing Ante" with my mother.

My mom almost always had soap operas playing on the TV while she busied herself around the house. (I can vividly remember crying during General Hospital when Luke and Laura were reunited after everyone thought she was dead and Christopher Cross's "Think of Laura" played to a montage of Luke and Laura moments. My mom even bought me the 45 I liked that song so much! Can you say sappy?) So what most little girls learned from Fairy Tales, I learned from Soap Operas! I saw a lot of soap opera "action" when I was young (which was mild by today's standards!) and decided this long wet kissing with tongue looked kind of fun. So who better to test this new "French Kiss" on than my mother. So the first chance I got, I laid one one her: Opened wide and inserted tongue. Startled, my Mom grabbed my by the shoulder and pushed me back. Actually, the truth is, Shock and Awe had nothing on my Mom's reaction! I learned right then and there not to try that again. At least not until years later with that boy under the tree with her.

I tried not to be so shocked with Dread Pirate Joe. I explained that this type of kissing wasn't appropriate for someone his age. I laughed at his innocence and told him my "French Kissing" story. He laughed and laughed (and I mean big belly laughing that is so adorable when you are 7!), until his face was red. Apparently, me kissing my mother WITH TONGUE was the funniest thing he has ever heard! When Chris walked into our conversation, DP Joe can't wait to share my story. He says "Did you know my Mom Chinese kissed her Mom when she was little?" Chris smiled and raised his eyebrow. Once I explained, he said "Maybe I can get a little Chinese action over here?"

Not a Slight Thing

"It is not a slight thing, when they, who are so fresh from God,
love us."....Dickens

We won't always be the best Moms we can be. Among the many mistakes we will make as mothers, we will set bad examples, say things in haste and anger we later regret, we will make bad choices, and sometimes we will fall down. And those sweet little cherub faces will look to us so trusting and innocent, wanting us to make it better. They will love us and forgive us of our mistakes and misgivings. In their eyes, we are loved, no matter what. That is both the joy and ache of being a parent. A joy to have this love, but an ache to feel at times we don’t deserve it. So it is, that we must get back up and keep pressing on. For them. Even if we don't know the right thing or the best thing to do. We must just keep trying. Because even at our worst we learn from these children just as we teach these children, about unconditional love….. Who even love us when we are at our worst. And they are counting on us. So no matter how hard it is, if for nothing else, for them. Because sometimes, we get it absolutely right. And it is those moments, when they say, “I love you Mom you’re the best” that we know it is all worth it.

I've made the mistake of striving to be a perfect Mom. But the Egyptian reminds me that being imperfect is really the perfect way to be. It is this that our kids will learn from, and hopefully they will feel safe to make their own mistakes in life. And just as they will look to us for comfort and reassurance in these times, we must also look to them, for they are the reason we do what we do.

Happy Mother's Day.